ok i think i'll talk about what happened

well it was labor day weekend. my parents were out of town. i was staying with my grandma. so i was supossed to stay with this one chick sparkle, but instead went with her and a couple other friends to this small party at crawford's house that they arent living in yet cause theyre remodeling it, so like its all with walls torn down and empty and everything. and we(me and crawford) set up this room and we had a tv and playstation and dvds and music and these foam pads that we put blankets on for a bed. jill and sparkle brought beer and i was smokin a buncha weed. there was about 6 or 7 people there at one time. 3 people spent the night, besides me and crawford. it was our first time to sleep together(literally). i never slept the whole night. i smoked a lot of weed though. i just watched people sleep, played tetris on my phone and in the morning i watched the sunrise. it was actually really relaxing, aside from the fact that i could NOT sleep no matter how much i tried :\.
when people finally woke up jill and sparkle went out to get us some doughtnuts and then later we went to chili's.
then me and crawford were headed off to joel's (HUGE) house. we went out to the lake with some beer and played a drinking game out on the dock and i had to pee so i did it in the lake. lol then. uh we went back and me and crawford messed around, and then we ordered chinese food and me and crawford watched the sunset on the balcony alone together and it was sooo romantic. and we smoked some more weed. i got pretty high.
then joel started callin up people to come over and we went out and got some more beer and smirnoff(sp?) ice which, might i add, is the sweetest alchohol ever! god its like candy. i drank a ton of that in the drinking games. and we went outside in joels huge ass, nice ass jungle of a back yard(which has a bar and tv and pool and jaccusie(sp?) and ponds and fucking everything in it) and watched caddy shack and played more drinking games and everybody got really drunk. it was my first time getting drunk actually.
that night was where i got kinda delusional. while the party was still going on, i wanted to go up to the room where me and crawford were gonna be sleeping to have sex but when we got up the we tried but i was like about to pass out or something and crawford was pretty bummed so he went to bed but i couldnt sleep and i stayed up that whole night it was terrible(again) and looong.
in the morning(like 4 and 5 ish, when the sun started comming up) i went out and got in the jaccusie but his dogs wouldnt stop bothering me! when crawford woke up we both got in together and it was another romantic moment. i loved it. i wish i could go back in time so badly.
then we left joel's and went to this resturant with crawford's mom and i had me some fried squid. i was sooo tired and i didnt talk much cause i just felt so weird. i needed my meds and the not sleeping and weed+alchohol was messing with my unbalanced brain chemistry.
then we went back to crawfords and i had fun at his house. we smoked more and more weed, read a maxim magazine, played with his dog ellie, and i had the munchies so i ate popcorn and coockies and chips and a bannana and god it was all so good (cause i was high) and we ate while watching some show about jesus lol...
then we decided to go swimming at the country club crawford's family is a member of. his dad was there and some of his friends and we ate dinner. it was good too. i decided to get a little sun in my bikini (damn i miss being thin) and it was just so nice to be there it was perfect weather and the kids were playing and everybody was so happy. at least to me everything just felt happier because i was becomming very manic and when i'm in my manic state everything has to be perfect. and this time everything was. so i was EXTREMELY happy.
and then we went back to crawfords. i was like obsessed with cleaning everything and getting everything organized(again, being manic). it kind of frustrated crawford because i wouldnt just relax with him. i wish i did, now though.
so then crawford took me back to my grandmas, where i couldnt sleep AGAIN. ugh. it was soo hard. but that night i remember like, watching all these shows that i thought were about people tripping out but really i was the one tripping out. and the x files was on and wow i was talking to crawford on the phone and he kept trying to tell me i was acting crazy but i wouldnt believe him. i was in my own world.
the next morning i spent the day watching nickelodeon movies. i went to the pool and tanned(i felt so good about myself back then! :( ) and the weather was just perfect. and so was the temperature in the hot tub. i tried to get friends to come over but nobody could. i spent the rest of the day watching nickelodeon.
then my parents came to pick me up. they were so happy to see me and my dad had bought me this indian bracelet and god they got me all these souveniers and it was great!
but that NIGHT, is when i went NUTS. i stayed up all night AGAIN and i was just watching tv and god i like, thought i was predicting everything they were saying or something and then i started watching the christian channel and i thought the apocolypse was happening and i was going to heaven and that morning i told my mom all about it and she thought i was crazy and started crying and im like its okay mom we're in heaven
then my friend katy came to pick me up for school and we went to starbucks first and at school i thought i was like, figuring out some kind of code in algebra and i was drawing out this map of something and pictures that were just crazy. so i got sent up to the office and i just broke down and everything i said made no sense and so my counsellor called my mom
so she came and picked me up and took me to a psychiatrist and i told him everything about me smoking weed and drinking because i actually thought he was god or something and i needed to confess my sins. then my mom took me to green oaks hospital. in the waiting room(i thought it was like, a waiting room for heaven) i thought like, everybody was my friend and so i like walked up to this old man and talked to him and i dont know it was just weird.
and then the toilet over flowed and water started creeping into the room and the tv was on the fuzzy screen, so i thought the ring was gonna happen or something and i started to hallucenate like blood on the walls and i thought i was going to hell and i was so scared and then my dad came in to comfort me and i thought he was like, and angel or something(oh my god i'm seriously starting to cry, this is the first time ive cried while telling the story)
one i got into the unit i met all these kids just like me with mental and drug problems i could relate to all of them so i thought i got along pretty well with all of them. i did some pretty weird stuff in that hospital though. i thought i had a daughter named roxanne for some reason. i name the baby roxanne because my name is /R/ebecca and craford's name is crawford b/OX/ and i got roxanne out of it. because i thought me and crawford got married, of corse. i was just completely out of my mind.
and once i started having muscle spasms and my neck stiffened up and i couldnt stop looking up so then had to give me a tranquilizer in the butt. and everything slowed dowwnnn....
but overall i had a pretty cool expierence because i made a lot of friends. the only bad thing is, they put me on some hardcore meds that made me gain 30 pounds, so excuse me now i have to go work out 9_9

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