i like the rain especially when its pouring, i like to watch it pound against the winshield when im in the car

i like how im learing to accept things more instead of confusing myself trying to figure useless things out

i like how i can tell im maturing more every day

i like how i can be honest with myself

i like how i can take things apart and understand it one piece at a time

i like how im constantly trying to learn even if it annoys people

i dont like it when i obsess

i dont like it when i exclude myself because im in a more serious mood than everyone

i dont like how i try and hide how im feeling so much, how i can act like a completely differnt, happy and care free person when inside i feel empty and alone and sad

i dont want people to know this because then people will either feel sorry for me or think im just beggng for attention

which is really what i want all along
---


[later edit]
i had a conversation with scott after i wrote all this and he worded how i think perfectly

rAv nbAby7: i try to think positive over negative
rAv nbAby7: but it doesnt always work
TornTribalWings: lol, I just try to think as a realist.
TornTribalWings: either way is too much delusion for me
rAv nbAby7: yeah same here but at the same time i try not to ignore the positive things that are reality as well
TornTribalWings: see, that's the beauty of being a realist, you can appriciate best of both worlds at once.. almost like the "beautiful tragedy".. you just get a mixed but wonderful view on everything.. Even in sorrow, there is a way to find motivation.. a purpose...a cause.. and a positive.
TornTribalWings: same with happiness.. but with a negative
TornTribalWings: like the illusion it creates but the bliss it brings.

Last Five
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